Snow!

We don't get a lot of snow here in flyover country. We do get some. Just not much. And it rarely stays around very long. So...if it snows on a Monday, it's likely to be gone by the weekend when I'll have time to take pictures of it. If it snows on the weekend, it'll likely be a blizzard until dark or too icy for me to get out and take pictures.

Did I say that there is a VERY small window where me, my camera and the snow can meet?

I managed to snap a few shots in the park the other day. Yes. I did risk life and limb climbing a great sledding hill in tennies just to get a couple of these shots!

Did I do that??

This is so funny. Okay. Maybe it's just funny to me. I like to take pictures. You may have already guessed that by now if you've read any of the last dozen posts on this blog. But it was only to support my other love: scrapbooking. But a real love of photography was sparked. I shared some of my favorites with my co-workers - because they're stuck there in the office with me! - and one day, one of my friends asks me to be the photographer at her wedding next spring.

Once I agreed to do that, within a few weeks, I was a real, honest to God professional photographer. And I love it. I have much more stress about it (that happens when you introduce $$ into the equation) but I still love it.

So I took engagement pictures for my friend and her fiance. It didn't take very long and we had a great deal of fun. I was using my mom's point-and-shoot digital and my film camera. I'd run out of film and discovered that hubby (who was my assistant) had left my camera bag at our last location. He ran back (well, drove, really) to get it. While he was gone, we snapped a few pics with the digital. There's a bridge over a small creek next to the football field in our small town that the football players run across from the locker room to the field. It's also where the graduates gather before commencement. It's one of those small town things. They were standing on the bridge and I noticed that the light was hitting the water just right relative to my position on the bank and I snapped a shot of both them and their reflection. It seemed too small, so I just focused on their reflection. It was remarkably detailed. And they both loved it. I love it. They've talked about using it on their invitations.

So, after we were done, I mentioned to my friend that a glamour portrait of herself might be a fun gift to give her fiance for Christmas. Yes. I had ulterior motives. I want to do glamour photography. She agreed and one eveing I went to her house with all my stuff and we spent a couple of hours making her beautiful and photographing her.

The results were so many great pictures that she couldn't settle on one so we picked twelve and had a calendar made.

This is one of my favorites. In fact, I used a detail from one of the images for my business cards! She looked at the photos and said, "Is that me?"

So a few weeks later, we were at our company Christmas party. My friend went to the restroom and while she was gone, her finace asked me what it would cost to get that reflection image blown up to frame for my friend for Christmas? I just thought it was so funny that they were doing the same thing for Christmas for each other.

So, I ordered a 16x20 of the reflection shot on double weight mattboard. It came yesterday just in time to get to the frame shop before the owner of the frame shop went on vacation for Christmas.

That has been the bright spot for me this Christmas.

A pretty girl

This is my oldest niece. I'll be taking her senior pictures next Spring. I am so excited!

This one was my Christmas card photo this year. I just couldn't make myself make any cards. I even BOUGHT a card. *shudder* How the mighty have fallen. I just have no juice!

Looking at something I've created makes me feel good.

It's been a difficult season

So I'll just come out and say it. This has been a hard season. Everywhere I turn, I'm faced with reminders of loss. It used to be that when I looked at pictures of my niece and nephew, I'd feel a sense of shock. Like being hit on the head with something heavy. Now, it's overwhelming sadness. I guess I've gotten it through my head that they're really dead. Some days are easier than others, but when it's not, it's really bad. Today has been really bad.

I'm not getting much accomplished at work today. I need to, but it feels like my arms are weighted down. My eyes won't clear. As I posted earlier, I seem to be offending people left and right. I guess I just miss my life.

I miss having dinner in the evenings with my husband and kids.

I miss cleaning house (well, having the time to do it really).

I miss my kids talking to me and sharing their days.

I miss snuggle time with Nick.

I miss seeing David.

I miss being respected by my daughters.

I miss kisses.

I miss having the courage to pursue my dreams.

I miss having time to spend with friends.

I miss family.

I miss friends.

I miss being able to talk on the phone.

We did our Christmas Cantata at church yesterday. It was the hardest one I've ever done and it's left me with a desire to never sing again. Maybe I just need a nap and some lunch.

On the outs

I like to go to message boards. There are several I'm a member of. But it seems lately that I can't say anything right.



I tend to shoot straight in "saying what I mean." But I also don't try to be mean. I try to say what I mean in the nicest way possible. Sometimes, that's not so nice. But I'm never out to hurt anyone's feelings. But - and you may find this shocking - some people wear their hearts on their sleeves then get mad at you when you bump into them.

Ugh. I know some people use the internet as some sort of shield so they can just be mean and say hateful things to others. I never do that. I hate being on the receiving end of that, so I don't dish it out. I try most times to be as nice as possible. But sometimes...sometimes people need to hear the unvarnished truth. I can think of one person in particular who drives me up a wall with things they ask and talk about. I want to pull a Cher on him (Moonstruck reference) but I can't. These days, I just ignore him. Not because I have any animosity for him, but just because he drives me crazy.

I understand the drawbacks of communicating with this particular media. I know

My niche

As you may have guessed, I love taking pictures. I love capturing an image that others gasp over or cry over or just get excited over. But I really love making women look and feel beautiful. I'm not exactly sure why. I don't know what drew me to this place but I can certainly see that evolution in myself, from my personal interests to habits and whatnot. Any way you slice it, that's what makes me happy. I'm excited that I've found something that might possibly have a market.

While I like my "all about me" blog, I'm also looking to pin my oldest son down to design me a website. One of these days... *sigh*

In the meantime, with very little in the way of supplies and equipment, I have managed to produce some amazing images that have made a few women VERY happy!

I love this job

So I called the gal whose engagement pics I took last weekend and I heard her holler to her mom, "It's the photographer." That was so cool. I'm totally geeked out about that.

In the last few weeks, I've gotten so much support and encouragement and practice it's not funny! I have so enjoyed taking pictures and learning about lighting and exposure. I want to do some more practice to get better clarity on the eyes of my subject but that's just a matter of time. I'm going to try to get the grandkids tonight and use my mother-in-law's christmas tree to get a shot for some Christmas cards. I would like to make cards this year, and I probably still will, but only for those most important VIPs in my life. I still give a lot of cards and can't possibly make 150 cards. I just don't have the time.

So this weekend, I got to use my friend Renee for a model. She's an inspiration to me about living healthy and making your life what YOU want it to be instead of accepting the status quo. She's getting married in the spring and she's giving some glamour pictures to her finance for Christmas. I was so pleased with how the pictures came out!!!

We did some really sexy, glamourous pictures that I'm not showing the general public, but let me just say this...every woman should have some pictures like this!! I hope some day to be able to take some pics like this and share them on my (still in production) website for advertising.

Nick!

Kat layouts

Baby Lynn Layouts

My favorite layouts

My mission in life!!

The Bible tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. Sadly, many of us don't give ourselves enough credit.

I've said before that I think every woman should have a picture of herself that makes her feel beautiful. I mean it. Everyone should be able to see their own beauty. Not worship it, but believe it. Know that even when life is pouring lemons on you and you can't find your juicer, you still have worth and value and beauty.

Such is the case for my little sister in law. She's been a single mom for many years. She's been buried in life for so long that she was forgetting that she's a beautiful woman. This weekend, we did some pictures (some! more like 250!!) and I hope that some of the images that result will help her to remember that her beauty is not just inside. It's outside too.

Last one with film for a while!!

This is Abby. My youngest niece. I just adore her! I rarely have to give her any instruction when she's posing for me.

Anyhow, this is from a bunch of shots I took at the park two weekends ago with my film camera. Today, my digital SLR (see post below) came in and I expect that I'll be using it for a while.

So much stuff!

Let's see, so far I've saved the date for the wedding and set a date for the engagement photo shoot. I've gotten a new camera.

Now, I have to get a good photo for business cards and get those made up. I need to get a new flash unit and a light meter. Somewhere along the line I should acquire some confidence in what I'm doing. I need to get a website set up - gotta talk to David about that! - which means I need to hit up everyone I know to pose for me!!

Funny, but when I wasn't being paid, I had all the confidence in the world. Now I'm shaking in my boots. I am learning a ton though. I can't wait to get some studio lights and get a studio set up. I just want to take awesome pictures and have people love them.


And pay me for them! Okay. At least I'm honest.

This is the one

After much research and internal debate, this is the camera I'm going with. I'm really happy about my choice. I'll be getting a 75mm - 300mm zoom lens also plus a 2G memory card. After the first of the year I'll get a good flash and a bag to carry it all in. Then maybe an IR filter for it. I know this is not the top of the line. But I'm expecting that with

I'm working on finding a good processing site (think I've got one) and on business minutia (contracts, expectations, business cards, tax stuff). I really should do some of the actual work I'm being paid for right now though.

my current favorite creations

link to slideshow gone

So excited!!

I am so proud of how these pics turned out! I am just psyched to get going with this stuff! I have a ton of ideas and have a tad bit of confidence now that maybe this can work.

I'm not ready to quit my day job, but maybe after I get my studio set up and do some glamour shots....who knows what the future holds?

Start Panic Mode now!

I am so excited for one of my friends. She's getting married in May. This is not cause for panic.

Panic must now ensue because she's asked me to photograph her wedding.

I'm mostly worried about having the right equipment. I've got some great ideas for creative shots that will be more fun to hang on the wall of their new home than the usual shoulder-to-shoulder shots of every family member at the ceremony. Not that those aren't great shots to have! The creative part I'm excited about. It's the technical part and the "what if I screw this one-time-only event up?" that makes my stomach churn.

So I'll be doing some research. Lots and lots of research!!

More drool-worthy shoes

Okay, that's enough for now. I need to get the drool off my keyboard.

My dream

I won't drool too much on my keyboard. I want this camera. Bad.















And these shoes:

What I'm wondering

So I'm wondering, in honor of today being Hump Day (any excuse, you know?), what you do to keep the Stress Monster at bay.

Me? I am not so successful at that. But playing computer games where I can kill stuff and zone the rest of the world out would be my #1 stress buster. Second would be scrapping or photography. Unless that photography involves people. That's a stress inducer if nothing is! Usually because I'm the one who wants the pictures not my model. Occasionally I'll get someone who wants their pictures taken and they're fun to work with, but usually it's me trying to learn how to take better portraits and begging a kid or friend to sit for me. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love getting a good photo. And one of these days I'm going to get a digital SLR camera (top of the line in cameras right now) and then I can quit this popsicle stand and go to work for myself!

How do you say no to this face?

From the time we found out that our daughter was pregnant, I've been taking pictures. I took four and a half rolls of the labor and delivery process which only took about three or four hours once we got to the hospital. That along with my coaching responsibilities.

When we brought Lynn home from the hospital, the picture taking really got rolling. I have pictures of her doing everything you can think of. If she'll sit still, grandma will snap her picture. And grandma has many blurry shots that say she'll try to take pictures while the little doll is running around!

So what do we get now? Grandma has to hide her digital camera and keep the film camera securely tucked away so that the little doll can't get her hands on them. If she does, she hands the camera to you and makes this face:





I have quite a few of these shots now. But what can I say? I'm a sucker for such a cute smile!

Serious thoughts

So today I saw the mentally retarded (not a value judgement, it's a DSM diagnosis) woman riding her very large tricycle down the street. Well, actually, I was at an intersection and she was sitting across from me (going the other way) and holding up traffic. She was apparently waiting for someone who had been walking behind her. My son who was in the car with me needed an explanation as to why we waited at the intersection for so long.

*brief Be A Responsible Driver speech*

But after dropping #2 son off at school I started thinking about how far we've come from the days when we put anyone who was "imperfect" in a home. My mom has a cousin with Down's Syndrome. About 55 years ago when she was born, the doctors told Karen's parents to put her in a home as she was be totally uneducatable. Her parents didn't take that and now Karen lives a life most would not believe possible.

In my state, we have a system where we maintain kids who are at risk of state (mental) hospitalization in their homes. Most of the time this works to a varying degree of success. There are still those kids who need long term hospitalization. But even just twenty years ago, all these kids were shipped off to the nearest state hospital and the average stay was 18 months.

Now I am completely aware that on occasion, society tends to act like a wildly swinging pendulum in a grandfather clock. Going so far one way that we snap back and go too far in the other direction within two generations. For instance, shipping every kid with emotional problems to the mental hospital for 18 months vs. keeping kids who SHOULD be in a hospital or home in their communities. Is there a middle ground? Is there a place where we recognize that in our desire to see everyone as "normal" we're really not helping anyone?

There are kids I work with who will never be "normal." Of course, we could go into a long rant about what is normal! But some of these kids will never be able to live on their own unassisted. They aren't likely to get married. Is there an appropriate time for us to accept some of these things and adjust our expectations accordingly?

Just thinking.

Stress Reducers

Shortly after my uber-genius oldest son graduated from high school, he bought a computer game - to go with the souped up computer his father bought him. In an effort to spend every possible moment with him before he moved away from home to go to college, I started watching him play. That lead to letting him teach me how to play. Which lead to updating our old computer about a year later so I could play it on my own computer.

Oblivion, by Bethesda Software was 2006's game of the year. It is the coolest game I've ever played. I can't think of a better way to unload from a busy day than to sit down at the computer and instead of talking to people about their problems I just smash away at them with some mideaval war axe or claymore. Or maybe throw bolts of fire at them until they expire. Well, not all of my victims are people. Most are an assortment of cool creatures (walking down the road you're as likely to encounter a Minotaur Lord as a bear).

I like it for utter mindlessness. Some of my other hobbies require expensive supplies. Some require other people. But this one only needs me to get my youngest son (who is also hooked on the game) off the computer!

Something fun

I really love doing these things. It's nice to know that after this many years, I at least partially understand my husband.

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

What a great night!

We had a blast last night! Stayed until the wee hours of the morning...danced...talked to lots of people I haven't spoken to in more than 20 years if ever...just had a great time.

And funny enough, no hangover this morning. Friday night I drank about 6 beers and woke up with a killer headache and a queasy stomach that lasted most of the day. Last night I had 6 really good margaritas and woke up fine. No headache. No queasy stomach. I guess I'm weird.

Anyways, there were some interesting things: it was supposed to start at 7:30 with a class picture at 8. We didn't get started until after 8:30 with the picture. Everyone who was there had to stand and say a little about themselves. It was nice to see who got old and who got fat. There were quite a few of the girls who were, I kid you not, skinnier than they were in high school. But they were also the ones who had multiple marriages and divorces behind them. Several either had no kids or were just starting out in married life. And we're all almost 40! There were a few couples married 15 to 20 years, which was impressive. And there are two other classmates who are grandparents, which was nice.

There weren't really any "hook ups" at my reunion like there were at Mike's last year. No one was really single. Or at least there didn't seem to be any who were "looking." There were a couple who actually live near me and work nearby who I think it would be nice to be friends with, but I suspect that we'll never be anything but friendly. There are a couple who I think I could be real friends with if we ever had the chance. Maybe we will.

But the strangest shocker of the night, for me, was when one of the gals I was sitting with told me that in high school, she'd been jealous of me. She envied my high school life. I just shook my head. I have spend 20 years doing everything I can to forget those three years and yet there were some who envied me. Unreal!

Better than I expected

Last night was pretty fun. The football game was hardly a game. We'd scored three unanswered touchdowns in the first quarter. By the end of the game (50-something to 7), we were playing all the JV that never got much playing time.

After the game, several members of my class went to the VFW right across from the field. I drank too much "liquid courage" and am paying for it this morning.

This is not me:

This is not me:

But this is about how I feel today:

Friday Fun

I love bubble wrap. I love the nice popping sound it makes when I squeeze each little bubble. Here's a spot of bubble wrap for you to play with!

This is it!

This is it. Today kicks off my 20th high school reunion weekend. I don't know if one word would be sufficient to describe how I feel about it.

First of all, I hated high school. Several classes both before and behind my class have commented on how awful my class was, clique-wise. I never fit in. Was never "accepted" socially. Had no real friends in my class. Never dated anyone in my own class...well, there was ONE person ONE time. And despite the fact that it's been more than two decades since we walked across that stage and went our separate ways, there are classmates who act exactly as they did in high school.

To be fair, most haven't. But there are a few who just don't want to let go. Back then, it was my dad who didn't have the right job or the right amount of income or whatever. I didn't wear the right clothes or drive the right car. And I think my boobs were too big. Now, it me who doesn't make enough money. I'm sure I still don't drive the right car. So many were so shallow then and are still shallow now.

I don't think I'll ever come to the place where I can say I have enough friends. And more than that, having friends who are my same age is important to me. Not that my older and younger friends aren't "good enough." But having someone who is at the same stage in life that I'm in would be nice.

Mike is going with me, of course. I couldn't go without him. He even told me he was trying to figure out ways to make the girls I graduated with jealous. I love him!

Celebrity look-a-likes

Pretty cool!

A new addition!

So I'm on another site and there is discussion going on about whether or not men and women are equal. It might help to note that many on this particular site are young and from one fundamental faith or another.





It is the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Seven. The 21st century. And there are still people who do not believe men and women are equal. It is intensely frustrating to participate in these discussions beyond "this is what I think" posts.





So, to save myself some "ugh" moments, here's a picture of my granddaughter. This is the face she gives me when she begs to have her picture taken. And yes. She does beg. I have to hide the digital camera!

















And here is a picture of our newest...well, it's not actually a picture of our newest grandchild. It's a picture of someone's grandchild (I suppose) at about the stage of gestation that OUR grandchild is at.



Our oldest daughter announced yesterday that she's expecting again.



Yes. We're quite excited!