My daughter came over last night and asked me "How do you love a child that's not yours?"
Maybe I should clarify that. My step-daughter, who I raised from the age of 4, came over last night and asked "How do you love a child that's not yours."
To be honest, I'd taken my melatonin already and I was on the fast track to la-la land. When I woke up, that was the thought on my mind and it's stayed with me for a while now.
I gave her advice that I think is sound. I told her to do the things she knows to do to parent a child. Eventually, the feelings would come.
What I didn't share was this: I loved her because she was part of Mike. And Mike was part of me. The other half of my soul. How could I not have feelings for those two little girls that came with him?It wasn't easy. I didn't have the experience of carrying them in my own body and birthing them. I didn't have the history of their infancies.
It was hard. At first. But one day, I realized that God was not going to cut me any slack because "step" was part of my title. In God's eyes, I was "mother." I had a responsibility before God to these two girls. I couldn't tell you the day I stopped thinking of them as my step-daughters and started just seeing my daughters. But I suppose it was around the time I started staying up all night with them when they were sick. When I baked their birthday cakes. When I noticed my personality characteristics coming out in their lives.
I don't think Alex realizes what it meant to me for her to ask that question last night. I don't think she realizes that was the highest compliment she's ever paid me.
Maybe I should clarify that. My step-daughter, who I raised from the age of 4, came over last night and asked "How do you love a child that's not yours."
To be honest, I'd taken my melatonin already and I was on the fast track to la-la land. When I woke up, that was the thought on my mind and it's stayed with me for a while now.
I gave her advice that I think is sound. I told her to do the things she knows to do to parent a child. Eventually, the feelings would come.
What I didn't share was this: I loved her because she was part of Mike. And Mike was part of me. The other half of my soul. How could I not have feelings for those two little girls that came with him?It wasn't easy. I didn't have the experience of carrying them in my own body and birthing them. I didn't have the history of their infancies.
It was hard. At first. But one day, I realized that God was not going to cut me any slack because "step" was part of my title. In God's eyes, I was "mother." I had a responsibility before God to these two girls. I couldn't tell you the day I stopped thinking of them as my step-daughters and started just seeing my daughters. But I suppose it was around the time I started staying up all night with them when they were sick. When I baked their birthday cakes. When I noticed my personality characteristics coming out in their lives.
I don't think Alex realizes what it meant to me for her to ask that question last night. I don't think she realizes that was the highest compliment she's ever paid me.
