Beware!! Whine to follow!!!!!!!!!

Okay...you've been warned. I feel like such a crybaby.

On Saturday morning, I had an awful gallbladder attack. I've never had such pain. It is my new standard for pain levels. And I have a high tolerance for pain. Guess not. So surgery is scheduled for Monday.

Then, on Sunday, I was cutting onions for burgers and cut my right index finger.

And on Monday, I slammed my left middle finger in the front door.

*wailing and gnashing of teeth*

I am now on a health drive. I'm going to get and feel healthy if it kills me.







Okay...maybe that shouldn't be my ending point. I don't know how I'm going to go about it, but I'm going to get healthy.

Okay. I feel better now. Thanks for listening.

Oh...and because I have only marginal use of my dominant hand, I haven't been able to scrap for the Winter Wonderland Crop over at Scrapadilly. I haven't even been able to upload my creations from Friday nite at Drea's. *sigh* Maybe the next one!

He said it first

I have, through painful experience, learned not to take things for granted. Today, when I was dropping him off for school, Nick said "I love you" first. Maybe you've never been in the "mom" places I have - and I would say you're lucky - but where I'm at, that was a special moment I'll hold on to for a while.

I've made some decisions for my life. One of my goals for this year is to be more creative. To not wait until I "have time" or "feel like it" but to work to keep those creative juices flowing regularly.

I've also made it a goal to get healthier. That's not going to be easy, but starting with eating healthier and working in some exercise I'm going to try to be a size healthier by the end of this year.

I've also decided to work on my family. I do a lot of things that get in the way of being a wife and mom. I've told my pastor that I need to quit teaching my class. I'll be praying that God will send a replacement music leader so I can step down from that as well. It will be hard not doing those things - I do love them! - but I need to focus on some somewhat more important things. I want to see Nick healthy. And leaving him to his own devices while I'm off doing all those other things is not the way to get there!

I'm a work in progress. I just want to be a little more deliberate and intentional about the "progress!"

Scrapping like crazy

Well, I have a tidy little bank of $20 or so in my Scrap to Spend account. I have so enjoyed getting back into the art and craft of papercrafting. I really missed it. I don't have any lofty goals. I don't necessarily want to be published. I am not looking to join any design teams. I just want to enjoy a fun and rewarding hobby. And give nice handmade cards to friends and family. That's about it. Not that it wouldn't be nice to be published or to be on a DT somewhere. But those are rewards for pursuing the craft. Not the goal itself.

I got a chance (after fighting off a very persistant bug) to go scrap at Drea's. I love scrapping with her. It's sort of like exercizing with a partner rather than alone. We don't spend terribly much time chatting, which I'm never good at anyways, and she always gives great advice when I'm stumped on what to do next. As a result, I got a ton of stuff done! See the gallery at www.scrapadilly.com if you're interested!

My goal is still just to scrap consistently. I want to do four layouts a month. Or a pair of cards for one layout. Just that many. Not twenty or thirty layouts and lots of projects. Just four. That's do-able!

Scrap to Spend in 2009

I'm going to keep track of my different things for the Scrap to Spend challenge at http://www.scrapadilly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2589 for Scrapadilly this year.

Here are the ways to earn Scrappy Bucks:
For everyone layout you make you get $1 in the Scrappy Account.
Cards are worth $.50
Altered items are worth $5
Entire albums of at least 20 layouts are worth $10
2 pages in small albums count for $1 in your account.
For every 100 posts, add $1 to your scrappy account.
For every thread you start, add $.05 to your scrappy account.
If you are chosen for the Creation of the Day: add $1 to your scrappy account.
If you do a product review you must upload pictures of you using that product to the gallery. For this you will receive $1.
For every referral to our site.........that means if a new member joins and puts your username as the referral, you will receive $1.
For special crops, I may from time to time offer bonus items for you to add to your scrappy account.

And here are my running totals:
layouts $1:
cards $.50:
altered items $5:
whole 12x12 albums (20 layouts): $10
small albums $1/2 pages:
every 100 posts $1 (starting post total 707):
COTD $1:
Product review w/pictures $1:
referrals $1:
other bonuses:

Fifteen years ago today...

...I gave birth to this.

Well, he didn't look like this then. He was a tiny little baby that had been desparately wanted and tried for (for a very long time!). He was doted on by his sisters and brother. He has been the beneficiary of all my maternal guilt for many years. We always had a very close bond, Nick and I. I find it sad that as he's grown up, he has felt the need to break away from that bond. Maybe someday - it is my prayer - that we get that bond back.

Never too late to be thankful!

Reading Drea's "What I'm thankful for" post reminded me that I did no blogging last week either!

There really are lots of things to be thankful for. They're usually the things that I take for granted, though.

Such as:

...when I gripe about my work. I'm thankful that I have a job and that it's pretty secure. There are so many folks in this area whose jobs are not secure. Or they don't have a job. Or their job doesn't pay enough.

...when I am not happy about washing dishes. I'm thankful that we have enough food to eat.

...when I don't want to clean my house. I'm thankful that I have a home.

I'm so grateful that God has placed good friends in my life. I'm grateful that He's given me fun hobbies to enjoy and friends to enjoy them with. I am thankful for a relatively healthy family. I'm thankful for people to love and people who love me.

A high compliment

My daughter came over last night and asked me "How do you love a child that's not yours?"

Maybe I should clarify that. My step-daughter, who I raised from the age of 4, came over last night and asked "How do you love a child that's not yours."

To be honest, I'd taken my melatonin already and I was on the fast track to la-la land. When I woke up, that was the thought on my mind and it's stayed with me for a while now.

I gave her advice that I think is sound. I told her to do the things she knows to do to parent a child. Eventually, the feelings would come.

What I didn't share was this: I loved her because she was part of Mike. And Mike was part of me. The other half of my soul. How could I not have feelings for those two little girls that came with him?It wasn't easy. I didn't have the experience of carrying them in my own body and birthing them. I didn't have the history of their infancies.

It was hard. At first. But one day, I realized that God was not going to cut me any slack because "step" was part of my title. In God's eyes, I was "mother." I had a responsibility before God to these two girls. I couldn't tell you the day I stopped thinking of them as my step-daughters and started just seeing my daughters. But I suppose it was around the time I started staying up all night with them when they were sick. When I baked their birthday cakes. When I noticed my personality characteristics coming out in their lives.

I don't think Alex realizes what it meant to me for her to ask that question last night. I don't think she realizes that was the highest compliment she's ever paid me.